Second-hand mourning

The world was been…blurry? Is that even the right term for all the mess us humans have created? I’ve been feeling a sort of disconnect with my surroundings and generally life events. As scary as things in the greater scheme of life have been, in my own life bubble things have been just as scary.

My brother who is my other half, the twin that was born 4 years earlier is going through a difficult time. His best friend recently died of cancer, and at the young age of 23 years old. This has had me in a whirl spin, questioning my own problems and life as well, while trying to be there for my brother. If you were to send to day with me you would realize that it’s my brother who shoulders it all, who is my lifeline, my spine. For the first time in a long time, I think it’s time for me to be that to him.

I’ve been googling ‘ways to be there for a loved one who is mourning,’ but in all honesty I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I’m just trying to be some better version of myself for him. It’s like I’m experiencing “second-hand mourning.” I don’t even think that’s a real thing, but I would describe it as, you too are sad about the death of someone but, feel more pain for your direct love one who is mourning the death of that person who was closer to them.  Seeing his pain and hurt makes me want to scream and shake it out of him and transfer to me!

I’m not sure if anyone is even reading this, but if you are I would love to hear some of your thoughts on this topic and any ideas you may have to help me and my brother.

Thanks deers.

xoxo,

A disconnected fellow deer

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